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There's no other way of saying this...

I'm moving my shit to TUMBLR!
its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better and funner and yeah. i'll still keep this account incase something doesn't work out. But here's hoping. Its all set up and running so the address is: just kidding. i keep changing it so ill let you know asap
ill move all of my stuff to there so dont worry about that and yeah.
wow is sounds like im in a relationship or something. like im moving in with a boyfriend.
why must boys be in everything?
anywho yeah. ch-ch-check it out ASAP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! and tell your friends to read my stuff. just kidding. you dont have to. its just that i only have one follower and i know i have another person who reads this shit and who knows if other people read it and just dont follow, idk. i just feel sorta pathetic.

For Some Moments In Life, There Are No Words

So, again, i haven't been on here in a while and the weird thing is, with what im about to write and what you're about to scroll down to, has so much to do with my post about my bird. Quoting myself: "...well what if this means that Lillian and Stella will drop dead soon?"
On Saturday, May 1st, 2010, i had to put my cat, Lillian (lily) down. Unexpectedly. Here's why:
So on Saturday, i woke up and Lily came into my room, crying her annoying little cry, and so i just walked out of my room and went downstairs to check my email and when i came back upstairs, i saw her laying infront of the fireplace, all sprawled out, with her tounge sticking out and drooling. I fell onto the ground next to her and saw that she had a compleatly glazed over look on her face, her eyes wouldn't even focus. So i ran into the kitchen, grabbed a paper towel and started wiping her mouth and then i brought her some water and tried to get her to drink it but she would't (She's always so stubborn) Then i saw that her breathing was really shallow and since my dad was sleeping, and my mom was out shopping for food, i just decided to call her. She would know what to do. So i call her, and when she finally picks up, im already in shambles. I say "Mom, something is wrong with Lily" (then i proceed to list the above observations) and then she says that she's on her way.
When she comes home she runs over and see's Lily has moved over to the corner near the thing that holds the TV and pictures and junk and the basement door. She asked me to find the number of the animal hospital that she goes to while she drives home but the animal hospital was closed. So then we had to find another local one and we got the number and said that we where coming in with an emergency and they said that they would be waiting there for us. Then we got Lily into her orange cat pillow (for real its shaped like a cat, complete with wiskers and a tail) and we jumped in the car. All the while her lifeless body wasn't even supporting her little head so i had to do it for her. All the drive there, i saw so much road kill. I knew it was an omen. Now normally i dont believe that kind of shit but this time it was real. And earlier when i was on the floor with her, it came into my head, the idea that i would have to put her down today. I dont know how/why it did but it just flashed into my mind. So when we got there, they stuck us into a room and the doctor came in a checked her (she was Irish, i liked her voice) and said that she wanted to do some xrays so we let her. By now my mom and i were both swimming in our tears. When she came back, Lily was no where to be seen. The look on the doctors face was expressionless. She came in with the xrays and showed us what was going on in that little fuzzballs body.
Long story short, something had burst inside of her that allowed air to come in around her lungs but not actually in her lungs where they should be. So since there was air around her lungs, her actual lungs couldn't expand to let air in, leaving her incapeable of breathing. The doctor said that it can happen very suddenly and that was obviously the case here. Then she said, thats the only diagnosis that i can give you, and i dont even know if its right (but it was, we found out later) and they could take out the air but they dont know if it could even fix her or if it might come back. And she said that Lily was really scared and uncomfortable and she showed us how much it would cost to do the air reliefe thing and it was VERY expensive so we had no other choice, but to make her happy and put her down.
We said goodbye one last time, my mom and i both a complete mess. Then the nurse walked off with her and i'll never see her again.
By then my black tanktop was covered in her hair and we exited the office, having nurses with frowney faces looking at our red, puffy ones. And i was holding the pillow that was full with a living, breathing, animal. An animal that i loved so much more than i could ever explain.
Later that day i had a soccer game, we won 4-0.
I also went to Nathan's party, to get my mind off of it all. It was fun too. But i was still sad.
Afterwards i went over to Kelsey's house, we stayed up until 5 in the morning and watched saturday night live. I felt like shit for leaving my mom at home alone, probably crying her guts out. Can't blame her, Lily meant everything to her. She was her favorite.
So right now i dont even know how to end this. Im crying like a baby, i cried myself to sleep last night, thats why i was so out of it/weird today. Im still wallowing. I wont get over it anytime soon, knowing me. Im just even more upset with the fact that my other cat Shadow died on May 15th 2009, almost a year ago. We had 4 pets on May 14th, 2009. 3 on May 15th, 2009, 2 on April 15th, 2010, and now 1, present day. It just makes me scared for my Stella girl. How we can go from 4 pets to 1 in less than a year. Its scary.
P.s - i never put my black tanktop with Lily's hair on it in the washer. And i dont plan on it, either.